


a fairytale read between pages

by samcaarter



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samcaarter/pseuds/samcaarter
Summary: He doesn't want to know anything about his soulmate. Fairytales and stories and such. The universe is not defining his life, his choices, his partner. It has no say in it as far as he’s concerned.I love this trope, but I also love the idea of choice. Sometimes you can have both.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 14
Kudos: 84





	a fairytale read between pages

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr in 2018. Slightly reworked, originally the first half was written in past tense, no idea what past me was thinking. Posting here for posterity.
> 
> _Did you spend most of your life waitin'  
>  On a fairytale read between pages?  
> Did you huddle up close to your boombox radio  
> Somebody waiting on the same song?_  
> \--Etta James by Brian Fallon

Everyone grows up knowing when, if they care to count, they are going to meet their destined other half. Jack’s never been one of those people. He lets his eyes glance over the numbers counting down to The Day, but never focuses on them long enough to actually get any idea of _when_. When he turns fourteen, he decides to wear a wristband over it, and be very careful taking showers, so he wouldn’t even catch a glimpse of it.

He doesn't want to know anything about his soulmate. Fairytales and stories and such. The universe is not defining his life, his choices, his partner. It has no say in it as far as he is concerned.

Not everyone feels this way. One of his old friends has always been excited to meet his own soulmate, hating the idea of working on a relationship and loving the idea of being with his person, destined just for him. Despite never sharing his enthusiasm, Jack’s upset when John and his wife divorce. However, in his heart, it only reinforces his belief that this soulmates crap doesn’t actually mean a thing.

When he meets Sara, he knows she isn’t his soulmate, but he likes her. And they're good together, and in the grand scheme of things it's what matters to him. After all, he doesn't play by the universe’s rules.

The concept had never been properly explained. Different people say different things to explain soulmates. But it looks good if one marries their soulmate. People breaking up with their soulmate or never marrying them because they never love each other enough or the right way, doesn't stop the powers that be from selling it as the only way to truly live.

And few things annoy Jack more than people telling him what to do; considering his job, the irony isn't lost on him, but he figures it's his personal life after all. So when he and Sara start growing apart before tragically losing their only son, he ruthlessly shuts down every crude remark about how people are only supposed to marry their soulmates.

The day after he signs the divorce papers, he feels compelled to look at his countdown clock. Perhaps he wants to make sure it’s stopped, just like his life. Or maybe he wants the opposite: to know that the higher power, whatever that might be, isn’t done with him, that he can still do some good. As if meeting his person could magically make things better.

It hasn't and it brings Jack no relief. The number seems impossibly big, though he knows it's counting down seconds. And for the first time in his life, he has to stop himself from thinking about when he's going to meet his soulmate. He puts the wristband on and later that day buys a telescope.

So when Jack gets recalled to the SGC, he goes back expecting trouble. He wouldn’t be asked to come back to celebrate the Stargate. Not to mention, he had lied about the mission and Daniel and the people of Abydos.

What he expects is a court martial, not a job. And what a job it is.

Jack's always thought the universe to be an objectively amazing place. And having lived through some really terrible shit, having witnessed some terrible shit happen to good people, he prefers to shrug it off; things happen, the universe doesn’t care. Just like it doesn’t care about who people choose to be with.

But he still thinks it did a great job creating the stars and the nebulae and the planets. Getting to go there, where no one else can even dream of going for at least another few decades, is something Jack hopes he’ll never take for granted.

He learns fast not to take his way-too-defensive-it’s-kind-of-adorable scientist for granted too. She deserves respect, not only because she’s brilliant, but simply because she’s human. She shares his sense of wonder and wears a wristband just like he does. More than once, Jack feels tempted to peek at his. The universe doesn’t make choices for him. And his scientist is also his second. The military certainly doesn’t care for this soulmate thing.

Not thinking about the clock is a choice he makes every day, but it's an easy one. Even if it were true, he knows that in a relationship destiny doesn't mean much, but work means everything. John can attest to that.

Becoming Sam Carter’s friend is also surprisingly easy. They both know there are rules about almost everything, but no one can argue that the SGC is not a typical military base and that all SG teams share special bonds. Maybe they’re soulmates in a way.

He thinks it matters that he can’t pinpoint the moment he falls in love with her. It almost feels inevitable and Jack doesn’t like to think about that. But no matter how hard he tries, he can’t not love her.

He also can’t not want Sam in his life in whatever way he can have her, even if it's not the way he wants.

Hearing her say she loves him, not in so many words, shocks him more than he thinks it should. Knowing they’re both in really deep makes things so much more complicated.

“It doesn’t have to leave this room, sir,” she says looking him in the eye, and he figures he couldn’t read her even if he tried.

“Are we okay with that?” _Are you okay with that? Do you want me to retire? Do you want me to give you everything I have and everything I am?_

“Yes, sir,” she says.

Her wish is his command.

And then he’s forced to choose between her and the planet. When he sits next to her bed hours later, he finally looks at his countdown clock. He’s not surprised to see it’s completely gone. It takes a couple or so years for it to fade after it reaches zero. He sits there, watching the machines that keep her alive and desperately wants more time; but when the universe grants him his wish, he says nothing.

He doesn’t blame Sam for choosing not to wait when she shows him another man’s ring. He barely resists asking if Pete’s her soulmate. It doesn’t matter. His friend John is now happily married to someone who isn’t his ‘predestined’ other half. And he can’t exactly tell her what to do with her life.

He tries dating a woman who isn’t bothered by his clear wrist. But as it turns out, she is bothered by the fact that he’s in love with someone else. He would be too.

In the end, their failed attempts to build a life with other people make them realize that despite the fact that they’re quite possibly meant to be, they _want_ to be.

So when he finally has her all to himself, in his cabin, in his bed, in his arms, he wants to commit every moment, every touch, every moan, every gasp to his memory. The reality of her is so much better than his wildest hopes and dreams.

Afterwards, as she lies in his arms, she pulls at his wristband, exposing the clear skin underneath it, and laughs.

“What?” he asks her, confused.

“Nothing. Just... I don’t care,” she says, looking him in the eye, smiling brightly.

“You don’t care that the universe has decided that you’re my soulmate?” He winds his fingers into her hair, tugging gently.

“Yup. I’m a scientist. I like things that can be explained, religion not included, but it serves a different purpose. But this,” she says holding out her hand, waiting for him to slide her wristband off, “I can’t explain this.”

He looks at her delicate wrist. No countdown. Not even the faded mark of it. “Do you know when?” He gently rubs the place where it should be with his thumb.

She swallows hard. “I looked when you were stranded on Edora. It wasn’t there.”

He smiles at her. “Maybe it’s Teal'c.”

That makes her laugh. “I wouldn’t care. And he is one of my best friends. But I want _you_.”

It’s Jack’s turn to swallow hard. It means so much to him that she is choosing this. Choosing him. His throat feels too tight for words, so he just gathers her in his arms, hiding his face in her neck.

Sam returns the embrace, one of her hands gently stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. “When I pictured myself happy, it was with you. I don’t know if it’s fate, or just us, but I do know that I want you no matter what.”

Jack moves so he’s on top and presses a kiss to her collarbone. “You’re such a sap, Carter,” he says, yelping when she retaliates by pinching his sides.

Their grins fade as he slowly inches his head down to hers. “For the record,” he says, his lips brushing against hers, “I want you, too. No matter what.”


End file.
